musings.....

I am not a perfectionist, no sir. I am not those anal Monica types who need to have life in perfect order before they give themselves permission to be happy. I have a method in my madness. And as long as the method and madness complement each other, my life is peaceful.

I've had this blog for almost five years now. Gosh ! Time flies. And the blog has come a long way. But the one thing that has stayed near constant is the template. Yes, minima black with a few alterations. I am beginning to feel the need for a blog makeover. Something that says "cheery disposition" akin to what I've been feeling lately. Or atleast what I hope people will feel when they chance upon this blog.

And hence my search begins. Watch this space for more to come :)

Long silence.

You are used to it, aren't you ?

Remember that girl who was all excited about the concept of a blog several years ago? She was inspired by her friend, panvista. She was sitting in an auto, caught in Bangalore traffic. It was another long lunch session that ended at Jayanagar Corner House. People loved "Death by Chocolate" but she loved their fudge sundaes, with lots of cashews. But I digress.

It was a typical Indian summer, it must have been about a hundred degrees (she counts in Farenheit these days). Her friends were talking about a cool tool that panvista uses, called a blog.She was inspired, and couldn't wait to get back to the office so she could create her own. Those offices in India had firewalls, as she now recollects. She couldn't wait to get back to try and see if blogger was.

To her surprise, it worked. It was still early days and she had to choose a name. It was 2004, and she was still a Bitsian. She hadn't officially graduated , and was nowhere close to getting over it. What was the one thing that defined her stay at BITS? What was the one memory she would carry on forever? Vivitsa , of course. And hence this blog was born.

She typed away , sitting in the 10th floor of Jupiter.Or was it Saturn? Memory blurs. She remembers the cafeteria. It was fittingly called The Earth. Those tea sessions, the snacks , the bus ride home, listening to that new-fangled radio channel. She was definitely "youth", the target audience. They'd play the radio channel at the cafeteria.Her friends would discuss those remixes and that new DJ who was sitting in a cosy office bang on M.G. Road watching the bumper-to-bumper Bangalore traffic.

She blogged about this and that and everything else. She found blogger friends. As blogging caught on , so did her office firewall. She couldn't wait to come home and write. She would sometimes save drafts in her email address. Wait what was it called again? The email service had a green interface and had a very teen flavor to it. She used it because that was the only email service that escaped the firewall. She remembers her username, she forgets the domain. Was it epals? Maybe.

She made friends through her blog. Why she even got her gmail invite through panvista, who was her blogger friend now. In those days, gmail let you invite five friends. It was an exclusive club, she recalled. You had to really be special or lucky to get into the "cool club". Bangalore had a really trendy , affordable retail clothes store by the same name, come to think of it. Her best friend at that time used to get her trendy clothes from that store for her birthday. Her best friend. Funny story. But that's for another day.

(To be continued... )

A hilltop. A suburban hilltop.

A thick settlement, houses edged precariously almost leaning on each other.Narrow winding cobblestoned roads run amock carelessly zigzagging towards beautiful tree lined cul-de-sac villas.

She walks up the hill wearing black shoes, a blue cardigan and white capri running gear. It is a beautiful summer evening. The wind is non-existent and the air is so humid she can hardly breathe. She looks up in anticipation.A few white clouds make their presence felt. A few conifer pines on the pavement. She carelessly kicks a dry, parched one. It goes flying right across the street, over the high metallic copper gates and into the cynical old man's bungalow. She doesn't know what startled her more, the ferocity of her own kick or how parched the pine cone really was to fly that high.

She smiles. The heart races for a brief second. She looks skyward and catches that first drizzle of summer rain.

She closes her eyes. She inhales.

So it was a movie filled weekend.

Dostana : Obviously, I'd read pathetic reviews about it on Rediff. And I almost did not go. This one is no Brokeback Mountain. And yes, the heroes pretend to be gay, fall in love with the same girl and so on. Yes, it does caricaturize the gay stereotype, but I think its done in good spirit and it had me laughing very hard. Of course, it also caricaturized the typical Indian saas-bahu, the K3G, KKHT over the top tearjerker stereotypes. Very refreshing that bollywood has finally decided to make fun of itself.

Vaaranam Ayiram : Ok, so I was very excited about this one, having seen the promos and interviews. I knew Surya had worked very hard on his various roles and the movie definitely had some catchy tunes. About 70% of the narrative was very well told, and very, very relatable. The rest of it was - well , a tamil movie :).I think Surya just graduated to an Aamir-esque league after this one. Oh, and the unkempt, unshaven angry young man look - Very sexy.

It feels like I rediscovered a missing part of me. Its been about eight years, it seems forever.

I owe my musical journey to her. No amount of listening, learning from youtube, attending concerts and hosting the stars could equal this. Hell, not even close. Come to think of it, I never found a replacement in all these years. Not that I did not have the opportunity. But I never did it. It is just one of those things.

She is back in life life and I am grateful ! Finally I have my own teacher back, someone who I can share raaga jokes with, someone how can almost preempt my swara patterns and the one I attribute my Dikshitar preoccupation to. Singing with her again, learning from her. It all makes sense now:)

Watchout Cleveland !

Reetigowlai.

I am embarrassed to admit that for the longest time, my baseline song for this raaga was "Azhagana Rakshasiye". Of course, Maharajapuram's "Nannu Vidachi" changed things , it is the Ni2 that made me fall. Just a simple Ni2. Go figure.

In my head , the arohanam is just S G R G M N N S although the orginal arohanam and avarohanam is a beautiful complex sequence of Sa Ga2 Ri2 Ga2 Ma1 Ni2 Da2 Ma1 Ni2 Ni2 Sa and Sa Ni2 Da2 Ma1 Ga2 Ma1 Pa Ma1 Ga2 Ri2 Sa. "Chinna Kannan Azhaikiran" - an Ilayaraja oldie uses the exact pattern in the opening line. Simple, but gets the point across effectively.

And yes, I have been listening to "Kangal Irandaal" from the movie where the hero is a thug and the heroine is a half-saree clad damsel. Oh wait, but that is most movies. Anyhow, the song has been sitting on my playlist for a while and just got elevated to the "continuously on loop" status.

So what exactly is catchy ? the "NSGRSa.. NDPa.. GMPMGRS" interlude before the starting of the first stanza. And these two lines I am unable to get off my head.

"unnai indri ver oru ninaivillai; ini indha 0onuyir ninadhillai"

CNN aired a very though provoking segment on today's "This American Morning". The segment was in response to blogs and critics debating on Sarah Palin's credentials and whether she was fit for the No.2 spot. Sure, why not? As Obama says, why should she be treated any differently? After all, everyone has seen how when a candidate announces his/her run , the whole world starts analysing his/her voting record, foriegn policy experience and so on.

But the strange thing is how Sarah Palin has come under attack about her ability to perform her VP duties while also being a mother to her five children. Why isn't anyone questioning if Obama, for instance, can perform his duties as a president while also parenting two young kids , now 10 and 7? Why should the rules be any different for a woman? So maybe she is nursing now, but how is this different from any other job that women have held? I personally find this accusation that she is somehow less qualified solely because she has an infant sexist.

But this also reminded me of a conversation I had with some friends some weeks ago. Three of us, one fresh from India, were walking around in Penn's Landing. For those of you who don't know , Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love has a beautiful bridge connecting Pennsylvania and NJ with parks, docks and entertainment et al. It is like the Newport of Cincinnati. Anyway, as we were walking around, we saw two gay guys go at it. The scandalized friend started wondering out loud about homosexuality in general. As I recounted the lives and marriages of some of my gay friends, I pointed how many gay men were positive role models, adopting kids from countries like China, India and Guatemala and being doting fathers. It was at this point that the one could not take the concept of a child being raised in a two father home, and that it was somehow more acceptable if a child was raised by two mothers.

I for one, completely disagree. A child , boy or a girl requires both role models - a male and a female in a household. The concept that somehow one parent is more important to a child's upbringing than the other is intrinsically flawed.I was raised in a two parent household, and like any other family , we have our share of flaws. But at 25, I thank God for both of them. While my mom gave me my emotional stability, values, ability to love and societal interaction standards, my Dad gave me the faith - he taught me to never stop dreaming. He taught me how to be an eternal optimist, and he gave me unshakeable spritual strength that has seen me through tough times. In summary, both male and female role models are pivotal in shaping a child's view of the world.

Now, while it is tempting, I am not going to discuss how our culture influences these gender stereotypes , leading to such notions that a woman's primary role is somehow within the family as a mother or a wife, no matter if she is a heartbeat away from the US presidency/vice-presidency, whereas a man is judged solely based on his political career.

Sarah Palin gets judged based on her hairdo, the length of her skirts, her beauty pageants, her children's pregnancies,and her Downs syndrome infant. Now, don't get me wrong, the question about how she will balance her life and work is a legitimate question for a concerned citizen. But why isn't anyone asking her husband what his role will be when/if the family makes the transition from Alaska into the Beltway?

After all, this question has been posed to Michelle Obama multiple times over the past year or two, and here is what she had to say "I think it's a unit that raises a child. As far as I'm concerned in this couple, Barack is the person who has the skill, the inclination, the desire, the ability, to be in politics. I have no desire. So that's a good thing, in my view, since someone has to be focusing on the kids -- and that's me. But it could easily be him. There's no reason why the nurturing has to come from Mom -- it just has to be there.. And if Mom is president, that's cool, as long as Dad or someone is going to their baseball games, is listening to their stories and their issues. There's got to be someone in a kid's life who makes them feel central....

So what is Todd Palin's take on how he will support Sarah Palin and her family as she transitions into her job ? Isn't it high time America asked that question?

The Obama campaign has run a memorable election campaign so far. It is monumental for many reasons. I personally have witnessed just two elections in my stay here so far, but this election is way different that the previous one, the absence of Dubya notwithstanding.

Firstly, for the first time in recent history, American politics and the election process itself has received unprecedented publicity. After all, when you hear an average man in an Indian village enquire about Obama on the phone, you know you have struck gold. If you don't believe me, replay the Berlin address. A crowd of 65,000 non-Americans , and usually tight-lipped Germans at that, cheering loudly a man who is not the president of the United States. He is not a president incumbent, hell , he is not even the formal nominee - still presumptive nominee of one of the parties of the country.

Secondly, this man and his campaign has generated tremendous interest and following among young voters. Facebook's 24 year old CEO as one of his chief strategists, Obama has used technology to effectively redefine the way campaigns and fundraisers are run. And yes, he does use our CRM product to run these campaigns and that makes me very proud, but the point to carefully observe here is that the campaign does not just send out random emails at all times of the day. Very carefully worded , crisp messages sent at appropriate times. Admirably, the Obama campaign has declared that it will announce his VP choice to his supporters first, and voters can sign up or send a text message to be put on a list. Millions of emails and phone numbers gathered at one go - that is just very smart campaign tactics. Supporters can also sign up to see local members and start groups in their neighborhood.

Thirdly, of course, is the extraordinary distance this man has come so far, with an unusual sounding name and relatively no D.C. experience. This fact alone is a testament to what smart politics can do in an election. But since he became the presumptive nominee, the Obama clan has run a clean race so far. In fact, far too clean in my opinion. Clearly , Mr.Grandpa and his supporters could stoop so low as to compare him with Britney and Paris after his landmark trip abroad. This man Obama, carried himself with such poise they did not think was possible from this newbie. On the one hand, he is the presumptive nominee of the democratic party, challenging the current president's international policies but on the other hand he represents America to the world. That is a very fine line to walk. And he did walk that like with confidence, winning millions of supporters abroad with his message of hope and cooperation.

But here is where I , as a relative outsider to this country get confused. Michelle fist- bumped Barack , so what? Obama's middle name maybe Hussain , so what ? In a country as liberal as America, a country that goes to war to end religious segregation, why is the media unforgiving? A nationally acclaimed magazine, the New Yorker , no less portrays him in a white turban , with his - wait I cannot continue to describe this obscenity.It is crass, ridiculous and paints a very racist, culturally intolerant picture of the US to the world, satirical though it was intended.

That leads me to the actual intent of the New Yorker article, and this post. For one, Obama is different (e.g. looks, culture) from any other politician this country has seen before, which in itself shocks me. I come from a country that has had a president from the religious minority and a woman prime minister. These people were some of the best rulers the country ever witnessed. Oh, and it almost slipped my mind, we now have a woman president, too , but that's a rant I ll save for later.

Anyway, countries that have traditionally been considered conservative by the West - India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Indonesia,Israel,Bangladesh,Turkey have all had minority/women heads of state. Granted, there has been an increasing awareness about religious terrorism here in the US since 9/11. An awareness is healthy, even necessary to open America's eyes to what has been going on for centuries in the rest of the world. But by boxing all people that belong to a particular religion as somehow alien and potentially dangerous, isn't America going down the same path as it's offenders ?

What if Obama is indeed a Muslim ? Does that make him any less American ? Does that make him any less patriotic ? There have been no records so far pointing to any of the above.Frankly the hypocrisy is shocking. On the one hand, Americans talk about celebrating diversity and take great pride in their political correctness. Yet, on the other hand,you see a three page statement issued by the Obama campaign with detailed references to his genealogy and religious practices. Has there ever been a non-white, or non-male, or a non-Christian president in the world's most liberal country?

Is the U.S. ready for a different president this time around? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure, every country comes with its own set of hypocrisies, prejudices and emotions. Social diversity, economic, education and scientific advancement notwithstanding. Because ultimately , a country is its people, and people, are just that - human.

Abheri is like a beautiful, shy girl. Much like the way Jodha catches herself eyeing Akbar on a sunny,sweaty swordfight practice morning. Suddha Dhanyasi is not far behind either. Consequently it is hard to tell them apart,sometimes. Karnataka Devagandhari,Bhimplas and Dhanasri make our make lives more complicated. But that is not the intention of this post. (I have finally learnt how to embed videos on blogger, but that is not the intention of this post either.)



"Narayana ninna namadha" - Purandharadasa pours emotion and Bhakti into this song, and what better raaga to express this than Suddha Dhanyasi.Listen to the song, and you will not notice a thing. Ranjani starts virutham in Saveri and Gayathri takes over. The first line is in Saveri and then she transitions over to Suddha Dhanyasi.

About 2:11 minutes into the video something happens. As Gayathri transistions to Suddha Dhanyasi, she ends the first line in a barely audible "Pa" that sets the stage. The violinist follows, except she thinks it is hindolam so plays the hindolam "Dha" instead. If only looks could kill, the violinist would be RIP by now. And then Gayathri proceeds to show elaborate the raagam a little more, and the accompanist catches on. All in the wink of an eyelid, almost transparent to the naked eye.

Until a little thing called YouTube caught on. With its action replays and viral nature , it has become the third umpire, an unfailing,sometimes harsh judge. But this is also a testament to the knowledge of the rasikas out there. That is just very good carnatic music in my book.




Suddha Dhanyasi - Arohanam : SGMPNS

Avarohanam : SNPMGS

Hindolam - Arohanam : SGMDNS

Avarohanam : SNDMGS

I went to grad school. Ergo, I know what lectures are like. The phdcomic fan in me would already conjure images of bingo and writing poetry, playing tic tac toe or a combination of all three during a professor's lecture.

But what is remarkable about the last lecture, is its simplicity. Honest , straight from the heart. No academic gibberish. No euphemisms, just straight talk. From a man who is (was)dying. I will admit though, that the publicity was cloying. It transformed the legacy of a great man to near-Britney like celebrity hype.

I don't know what it was about today. Maybe the stress of the past few days. Maybe an emotional high thanks to a birthday with loved ones. The realisation that somehow a quarter century passed by. Will there be a witness ? Does it go unnoticed? Maybe it was Ranjani and Gayathri singing "Rangapura Vihara." Just close your eyes and I promise you can experience that light, subtle shringara rasa sweeping you off your feet. If you have another level , that is. But I digress. It was just a reflective mood and I was reading this.

The book, the letter from the President, the Pittsburg day, the scuba diving, the lobbying, the elephant in the room. And then the post about Dylan turning six. A photo in the local photobooth done as pastel painting.

It moved me to tears. Human fraility. How we all, at some level, prepare ourselves for the inevitable. How it still hits hard when it happens. How we all live with the pain, how we move on.

And how family is the most important thing in everyone's life. How a dying man can teach us priorities.

Randy Pausch, RIP.

Picture Composition

If you are like me, you've been glued since Euro 96. You've had your heart pounding everytime hot boy Raul Gonzales scored. You've hoped against hope that the team qualified, amidst being in the "Group of Death" in WC 98. Your hopes hit rock bottom after the the Nigeria game and your hopes soared high after they thumped Bulgaria 6-1. When Raul missed the penalty shootout in Euro 2000 you've wanted to kill him. You switched off the TV when they lost to France 3-1 in WC 2006, and promised yourself that you would not get your hopes high. Not for these guys.

But then came Euro 08. You caught sneek peaks at restraunts and news clippings, but you didn't let yourself get into it. Never watch a full game, you told yourself. And then came super-Sunday. You did yourself proud, never once did you glance at the TV. It doesn't matter, you told yourself. I am over it. And then, the casual glance. Voila ! Torres did it ! You couldn't believe it. Offside ? No. Any chance it was a dream ? No. They did it !!!

Of all the times to be away from Boston, summer is probably the most ill-fitting. Especially when the Queen (Well, for all practical purposes, anyway) flew down to talk to some Harvard grads.

I must admit, the idea took a while to sink in to me. What was she going to talk about ? Compare the Potter - Voldemort duel to the travails of the real world? Talk about how she had the power to change the world and bring kids back to reading?

Of all things she could have talked about , talked about "Benefits of Failure". To a bunch of Harvard Grads, yes. Here is a small excerpt. The full transcript is available here.

My Chitti thinks I have the most adorable yawn she has ever seen.Wait till she sees my smile. Hey, thats just my job - eating,pooping,sleeping and - well just being adorable. But mostly sleeping. They talk too loud, and whats with the doors they bang? Don't these people know that my tiny ears can't take this ? Oh well, I ll just sqirm a little and make little noises, and then my mommy holds me. It feels like heaven when she holds me close, its familiar. I also like it when I hold my one arm up , my mommy bends over and kisses me.

My daddy stays near me always, too. I don't open my eyes too much, because, you know all these bright lights I cannot take. But every once a while, I see my dad and chitti playing on a silver square thing. I suspect that playing will be a lot of fun with them. My thaatha holds me softly and talks to me. I squint my eyes, I am fascinated by an orange turban he wears. When I am a little older, I will ask him what that shiny crescent in the middle means..

Oh, its time to be cute again and wail a little so my Paati will hold me. Why does everyone want her to leave me inside that crib? I feel so lonely in there. I want to be held by her, she is soo soft and warm and . Oh and btw, I've taken over my chitti's blog. Why does she need to write here anyway? Alright, I am tired and I am going back to sleep. Bye!

In about 45 minutes from now, I am going to watch a Celtics Vs. Cavs. game.

I just had to get this outta my system before I go !!

Rajasthan Royals announces Global Fan Community alliance with BITS Pilani International Alumni Association!

The first international fan base by an IPL team is launched!

Jaipur, 30th April 2008: Emerging Media, owners of the Jaipur IPL franchise, Rajasthan Royals announced a first-of-its-kind global fan alliance by signing an exclusive relationship with BITS Pilani International Alumni Association. With this association Rajasthan Royals will induct over 30,000 BITS Pilani Alumni into the Rajasthan Royals support base, providing all members of the community with special offers, free tickets and discounted merchandise of the Rajasthan Royals.

In addition, the Rajasthan Royals will also contribute to the BITSAA community with special articles written by Shane Warne and a charity auction at a later stage. BITS Pilani, the premier engineering and sciences institution is located in Rajasthan, only 5 hours away from Jaipur. Rajasthan Royals is also extending the benefits of this alliance to over 5000 students and members of faculty of BITS Pilani.

Manoj Badale, Chairman of the Rajasthan Royals said, “We are extremely excited about this partnership. BITS-ians worldwide are a fine representation of India, highly educated, well settled and truly global citizens, yet deeply connected by a certain bond they share. With this alliance, we hope to provide them another reason to bond: supporting a fierce team in the Royals.”“BITS Pilani alumni around the world are rooting for Rajasthan Royal’s victory in the IPL tournament. Go Royals!”, said Professor S.P.Kothari, Chairman of BITSAA, who is currently Deputy Dean at the Sloan School of Management, Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

“This is the foundation of what will be a huge community for us in due course. We have a number of initiatives on the anvil, both online and offline for increased interaction between our global members and of course, the Warnie Army has begun to take shape”, said Ravi Krishnan, Vice Chairman of the Rajasthan Royals Commenting on the relationship, Fraser Castellino, CEO of the Rajasthan Royals said, “Of course, the fact that Pilani and Jaipur share a home in Rajasthan was the primary connection between us. This is another first for us and we look forward to support from the BITS-ians.” With Shane Warne being the only international captain of an IPL franchise and a few fine winning performances, the Rajasthan Royals are already attracting fans from all over the world.

"Rajasthan Royals is the natural home team for the global BITS Pilani Alumni because of the memorable times we spent at Pilani, Rajasthan. BITSians all around the world are rooting for Shane Warne and the team", said Ashish Garg, CEO of BITSAA.

As part of this deal BITSians around the world will get:

• 50% discount on all season tickets for all Home Games (Played at Jaipur)

• 20% discount on purchase of 10 or more tickets for specific games (i.e not season tickets).

• Free tickets for home games that BITSAA will raffle to its members for specific promotions

• 50% discount to BITSians who may want to purchase a VIP box for the season

• Special tickets to RR away games like the ones in Bangalore, Chennai, Mumbai, Delhi and Kolkata

• Discounts on RR merchandise

• Articles from Shane Warne and other Rajasthan Royals players for the Alumni Magazine, Sandpaper 2.0

For the millionth time - I am proud to be a BITSian :)

"..... I was 15-and-a-half, and I was thrown into a haunted universe where the story of the human adventure seemed to swing irrevocably between horror and malediction. I remember, I remember because I was there with my father. I was still living with him there. We worked together. We returned to the camp together. We stayed in the same block. We slept in the same box. We shared bread and soup. Never were we so close to one another.

We talked a lot to each other, especially in the evenings, but never of death. I believed — I hoped — that I would not survive him, not even for one day. Without saying it to him, I thought I was the last of our line. With him, our past would die; with me, our future.

The moment the war ended, I believed — we all did — that anyone who survived death must bear witness. Some of us even believed that they survived in order to become witnesses. But then I knew deep down that it would be impossible to communicate the entire story. Nobody can. I personally decided to wait, to see during 10 years if I would be capable to find the proper words, the proper pace, the proper melody or maybe even the proper silence to describe the ineffable.

For in my tradition, as a Jew, I believe that whatever we receive we must share. When we endure an experience, the experience cannot stay with me alone. It must be opened, it must become an offering, it must be deepened and given and shared. And of course I am afraid that memories suppressed could come back with a fury, which is dangerous to all human beings, not only to those who directly were participants but to people everywhere, to the world, for everyone. So, therefore, those memories that are discarded, shamed, somehow they may come back in different ways — disguised, perhaps seeking another outlet.

Granted, our task is to inform. But information must be transformed into knowledge, knowledge into sensitivity and sensitivity into commitment.

How can we therefore speak, unless we believe that our words have meaning, that our words will help others to prevent my past from becoming another person's — another peoples' — future. Yes, our stories are essential — essential to memory. I believe that the witnesses, especially the survivors, have the most important role. They can simply say, in the words of the prophet, "I was there."

What is a witness if not someone who has a tale to tell and lives only with one haunting desire: to tell it. Without memory, there is no culture. Without memory, there would be no civilization, no society, no future.

After all, God is God because he remembers. "

- Eli Weisel as read in "This I believe" , NPR Apr 7,2008.

We walked into the Wong Auditorium @MIT a few minutes late. It was rainy,windy,and cold. The walk didn't help either.As we walked in, he was just getting done with his Varnam.

Sikkil Gurucharan. All I knew before this concert was that he was from the Sikkil lineage, and if his youtube videos were anything to go by, talented. As I sat there, he started with a "Kannadai" followed by composition in Bhavapriya. The Karaharapriya main peice was effortless, crisp and fast.

Not once during the Aalapanai did I feel the need to get out and get some fresh air, as is the case with people who sing Thodi and Kalyani. Yes, I judge people who sing Thodi as the main peice. Even as the sub-main. Call me a snob, I don't care. Thats how much I hate Thodi. Are you people heartless slobs? Music is all about feeling. Bhaavam. Character. Emotions.Yes, it has to do with complex math, arithmetic and geometric progressions. But in a way that embellishes the mood set by the Raaga. These progressions have to flow, it cannot be forced upon the listener.Granted these raagas are "strong" , but they fail to invoke any emotion in me. Its not the fact that they are melakarthas. Believe me. I love Shamugapriya. It has depth, it has beauty.

But somehow Thodi and Kalyani - Trite. Done to death.Beaten, used.Cloying.Its like seeing the Microsoft default desktop and crooning "Wow!! Soo pretty". Or, eating a store-bought and microwaved mac and cheese, and saying "you are the best cook in the world". Or going to every damn ice-cream shop in the world and ordering vanilla ice-cream everytime.Shut up !! It makes me want to rip my hand off just so I can hit these people. And don't even get me started on the Aadi thaalam kalyani Thyagaraja krithi. (No offense to the great composer - it's just a BANAL combo!)

Anyway, now that I have offloaded my rants, let me get on with the concert review. Where were we? Oh, yes. The Kharaharapriya main peice. It was fast-paced , and Nagai Sriram on the violin did an amazing job. Neyveli Skandasubramanian as always , was brilliant on the mridangam and the whole peice was orchestrated beautifully.

I want to take a moment and talk about a beautiful Panchalinga krithi called "Ananda Natanaprakasam" set to Kedaram. Composed by my favorite trinity Sri Muthuswamy Dikshitar, Gurucharan knocked this one out of the park . He was simply brilliant. I want to emphasise why this part was sooo fasinating to us. No offence to the yesteryear stalwarts, you guys were good, but IMHO the male singers of yore while being technically competent,weren't particularly bhava-centric. In other words, they catered more to people's brains rather than emotions. Since Yesudas and Unnikrishnan, things have changed, and I am thrilled to see that the modern day singers including Sanjay Subramaniam and Gurucharan modulate voices and notes to enhance the emotion of the raaga. We were mesmerized by his Kedaram - He made us want to run home,search this song online and learn it ASAP.

Gurucharan proved that he is an artiste of professional caliber as he presented an RTP in Reethigowlai. (My fascination for this raagam started since - you guessed it "Azhagana Ratchasiye.") A semi- elaborate raagam and a quick thaanam later, we were treated to a swara spelt of Reethigowlai, gowlai, kannadagowlai and kedaragowlai. Borrowing from the Gowlai Pancharatna, Gurucharan effectively used manodharma to string together unusual swara patterns.

Another example in point about how contemporary carnatic music has evolved is when, seeing our puzzled faces trying to figure out the raaga that followed after gowlai, he gave out the name of the raagam as soon as he was done with the swarams and Nagai sriram was exploring Kannadagowlai. It saved me a whole lot of thinking, going crazy, and searching online. :)

The concert was wrapped up with a a virutham followed by a bhajan,Javali in Paras, the behag thillana and the Mangalam.

Some nuances in concert that may not have been apparent yesterday : Gurucharan took particular care in choosing raagams (no repetitions, no janyas or similar sounding ones), composers (all major composers covered), languages (Telugu,Tamil,Hindi,Sanskrit,Kannada),types of krithis (from the Varnam,thillana,RTP,bhajans to the oft-forgotten javali, devara viruththam), thaalam (Aadi, rupakam,mishra chapu, kanda chapu and a thaalam that I haven't quite figured out yet - no complete lagu and one dhrutham). His Hindi pronounciation was perfect, with no hint of the southie accent.

Overall, I was very impressed. This guy is definitely someone to watch out for.

So here I was,at Couz's place for the long weekend,in NH.Over Chai and Namkeen, we yapped away to glory, realising that nothing much had changed over all these years.A prolific blogger and a partner-in-crime in school, we laughed at how the more the number of tests we had the next day, the more we kept away from studying.

I don't know if this is a blogger trend across the board, but I personally am at my blogging prime (only) when I have neck-wringing deadlines the next day.Today is no exception.Another long night looming, I set to work and turned to youtube for some musical entertainment.I heard Kaavaavaa after a long time. I couldn't resist this post. So here goes :

Before you read this though, I highly recommend listening to this.

I have always been fascinated by the folklore around Lord Muruga,and that was definitely a big part of the charm in this composition. But it was also Varali.The Gandharam in Varali just mesmerizes me. Pay attention to the "PMG..R" prayogam used throughout the composition. As the song progresses, also pay attention to the ucha sthayee "RGMGR" in the "Valli Deivayani" bit. Its the Ri and Ga that just completely bowl me over.

On another note,I also highly recommend "Kaana Ayiram Kan Vendum", again another composition on the peacock God, by Nithyashree.This song was on my loop list in musicindiaonline all the time. You can also see the video here. Set to Abheri, the virutham draws out the complete essence of Abheri,and the transition from the virutham to the krithi is just soo fascinating.

Thank God for Music !

Two hour update :

I've expressed variations of this before - like I miss India, or friends and family, many ,many times I've said I miss Bangalore. But at this very moment, I feel a huge, huge longing to walk the streets of Pondy Bazaar. More importantly I want to be here, listening to this. Sure, over the next two months, I am going to have my fair share of concerts to listen to in Btown. But its not the same. The fake accents, the heavy jewellery,the zari'ed pattu podavais notwithstanding, there is something magical about sitting at Nungambakkam Cultural Academy listening to a Suddha Dhanyasi, hearing a nondescript passerby critique it better than Subbudu.

Here it is - I miss Chennai !

Many , many lives ago,there was that one sea.One, big and blue.She turned , to glimpse that perfect wave and paused to reflect.She ran toward it,stopping mid way as if her soft feet would somehow mar the wave itself. Her beautiful legs barely touched the the white sands, as she waited for the wave to hit her.She stood right in the middle of it, letting it surround her.

Slowly , the wave receeded. She turned around, confused. The part of her that stood in awe of that perfect wave , was esctatic.It was nirvana to just hear noise and splash all around her. The part of her though, that wished she could ride the wave forever, was pensive.


And then there was, interestingly another part. The part that saw her as she closed her eyes and the wave hit her. The part that somehow attuned to her half-sand kissed figure, wondering why she wasn't soaked to the bones.

And there she stood.As she spread her hands wide and high, she leapt up, as if toward the sky. Her hands pierced the tip of a once-perfect wave, rippling it apart forever.

She felt human.

1.Never pass up an opportunity to get tickets online for a desi movie.Make that a capital NEVER EVER if you live in San Jose or Edison.Unless you have some sort of a weird fetish to be shoved inappropriately, and be "solicited" by a few aunties for their prospective nieces/nephews. Trust me.

2.If you have a telephonic interview,it is perfectly OK to wear your jammies and do away with your contacts.There is one caveat though - You need to brush your teeth before an interview.Don't ask me why though.I cannot for the love of God put a finger on this.If you are in the middle of a stimulating chat or phone call, and you are two minutes away from an interview, use the following algorithm. Believe me, it works.Every single time.

Step 1: Is it an East Coast or a West Coast call ? If it is an East Coast caller,switch off your computer and practice sitting in attention.Take deep breaths.

Step 2: If it is a West Coast caller, pause briefly. While a Gchat discussion about whether the Saravana Bhavan in the City or the one in Oak tree has the world's best Aapam is intellectually stimulating, you have an important mail to send out.Open your gmail, and remind your caller that the interview was scheduled at 10 30 AM EST.Chances are, if you wait long enough, you will get an email profusely apologizing the timezone mix up, followed by a murky description of when the next call could be expected.

Step 3 : If it is a hiring manager upwards of a Director, pause again.Point your mouse to the bottom right of the screen and check today's date. If it reads anything beyond November 20th, you need to make a phone call to the HR.Chances are , you might get a call/email in three days confirming that the HR forgot to check the Director's updated vacation schedule.

Step 4 : If it is a Desi calling, Do not pause.Give yourself the day off,get a manicure , visit the neighborhood candle company,indulge yourself in a meaningless chick flick, you get the idea. Also, just when your face is covered in some gooey , minty green paste, expect your phone to ring loudly. Also, expect the caller to say "Hello, yes, I calling about interviewing. What is the difference between a thread and a process?" "Uhhh.." "OK, that's fine, explain memory management" Well, you get the idea.

Step 5 : If all else fails,stop obsessing over that damn phone, and start singing loudly.

3.Do not attempt to tell resemblances between people. Especially if the "person" in question is a tiny peanut about twelve weeks old, and the photo in question is a black and white two by two ultrasound.Apparently, you cannot, and looks change, too.

4.Barbie Dolls are inappropriate gifts for a two and a half year old girl,because of the choking hazard. Even if the lady in question knows all about princesses,fairy tales, and how to make a "paratha burrito."

5.Evidently, I love getting gifts from guys,followed by a bear hug, and a loud "I love you" that anyone within a ten mile radius can hear.Especially when the gift is a chain made of wool, beads and feathers made by a seven year old, especially for me in his art class.

6.You are not crazy to make thousand and odd mile road trips all by yourself,not when you have the best times of your life almost dying on a delirious canoe ride.Or go on a thirteen hour cross country impulsive relocation trip with a friend, and enjoy it soo much, that your forget all serious license and registration quandaries.Or pull an all nighter with your buddies to watch all episodes of "Ohh La La La".Or stay in bed all day and watch chick flicks with your GFs.

7.It takes a hazardous journey in an ice storm,a cramped car,looming deadlines,bad toilets and food deficit to reiterate to yourself how much you love your music and singing.

8.Well,apparently, if you buy your thesis committee some Starbucks coffee and fudge brownies early in the morning, chances are, you will not be hung by a noose in the town center while everyone takes a free lesson in rock-throwing, with you as a target. Well, brownies, and two papers,three years,and the confidence to write a book on frustration management.

9.Well, I am not always as tongue-tied as the time I filled my blog with cartoons.Sometimes, I can actually write.

10.Oh did you know that a cylinder of LPG in India costs about 500 bucks now? Well, that and the fact that there exists a Santro Automatic makes your idea of a one-way ticket to homeland pretty fuzzy and confusing.

11.Do you ever have the kind of questions that I do ? For example, I have always wondered how people who live alone get dressed to go to parties.Especially that little black dress that you look fabulous in and have trouble zipping up.Or the time you fumble with opening cans.Or the time you need to come back to a warm house and some soup.Well apparently the need to have a great roomie is valid.

12.You know how you play Rock-Paper-Scissors and how scissors trumps paper and so on? Well,Family trumps 'em all.

No spoilers here, so please feel free to read on !


It was when I was in my fourth standard. I remember Mrs.Ramola, very well. She was my social sciences teacher, and she used to be very fond of me. She was rotund, and had glasses on.Her hair was as frizzy and wavy as mine.She used to ride a bike, and there were times when she used to pick me up from my home, and drop me at school. There were times when, she found me walking on that last stretch to school. She would drop Mrs.Latha , the science teacher, and pick me up and drive that last stretch.

I remember an awful day in fourth standard, it was my Science Quarterly Exams.I received my paper, and it had fail marks on it. I was supposed to have scored 98/100, but my marks were 36. Because I had failed to write the question number for all answers. I remember how my mom cried, ashamed that her house had "a failed" student.Where did I go wrong ? She cried. She cursed me.

I was supposed to be "bright" in school, but it was always overshadowed by my talkativeness,my laziness. There were days when I was made to go back to school in the evening because I had forgotten to note down the day's homework.I got caned many a time. I had issues with my friends, and my mom was always trying to mediate.


It was my 6Th standard, and I was scoring well in Tamil, because my tamil teacher taught my sister, who was always a topper.Until the Parent-Teacher meeting, where my mom casually mentioned all her woes to him - Her first daughter was always a topper, she concentrated, always finished her homework, came home on time,no trouble at all. She spent sleepless nights worrying about her younger one, because I was lazy, did not pay enough attention, picked up fights, rebelled, always playful, did not "sit down to do hard work" and so on.In the next exam, I barely passed Tamil. So much for a helpful mom.


I was always called "bright" by my teachers. Somehow they felt I just did not try hard enough.I remember being called a "problem child" more than once when I was a kid. My childhood was one big blur.The images of my school that stuck in my head was a mixture of standing outside the class, getting hit on the knuckles,getting into fights with guys and so on. But I remember Mrs.Ramola vividly. For some strange reason, she loved me.Once a week, every Friday, she divided the class into boys and girls, and conducted a quiz. I was the star of this session, and everyone looked up to me to win.The days when I was absent, the girls lost.It was the first time I was ever the best at something,and that meant a whole lot to me.

I also remember participating in all possible extra curricular activities, mainly as a way to get away from school. I remember how I used to fear telling my parents about the latest painting competition or elocution , or singing. Invariably after the usual discourse about how I should stop all this and focus on academics, my mom ferried me around. My sister helped with the speeches, my mom heard me sing, and taught me lyrics.And then I started winning some of these.

But academic experiences at that dreaded school only got worse.The competition was fierce,and the teachers , merciless.I did have my favorites, and I learnt from some, I despised most others. It was like I was serving time. But luckily, we moved away to a different city.

My fortunes changed drastically after I enrolled in this one school. The principal was friends with my music teacher and was a great music enthusiast.She was a strong believer in encouraging extra-curricular activities of children.She had heard me sing before,and took me in.Everything started on a positive note. I started participating in debates, quizzes, oratory, and of course music competitions. Those two years saw me on top of the competition circuit in my city. I was looked up to, and respected.

This confidence spilled over to academics, too.I had an image to live up to, and it made me want to try harder.I started going well in school, occasionally topping the class too.I managed to pass out of high school, got into a pretty good college and so on.I cannot imagine going to a better suited undergrad college than BITS.Mainly because I do not respond well to authority, and a "one size fits all" mentality of educational institutions. In that sense, I consider myself incredibly fortunate.I never attended classes, but I performed when it mattered. I cracked some courses out of shape, and never cared about the rest.I was too engrossed in my vocal performances, committees, meetings and friends to care. I had the best time of my life.

Maybe I am a rebel, sometimes without a cause , too. Maybe I am anti-establishment.But that is who I am. I need to be in an atmosphere that doesn't stifle and strangle me to death. Be it work, school or societal interactions.

Today I watched "Taare Zameen Par".I need to own this one on DVD, like RDB.Aamir says, each child is special. I say, Amen to that Brother!I really hope everyone in India watches it. Especially your "Strict Disciplinarian Uncle" and "Orderliness and Regularity Aunt."


On an entirely different note : After a hiatus of about three years, today has seen a return to "personal blogging", a style I thought I would NEVER embrace.Is this style here to stay? Wait and Watch. Happy New Year Folks !!

Monday, February 14, 2005

The empty self-gifted Hersheys pack lies to one side of the bed.All the chocolates are over,only multi-colored wrappers remain.I try not to glance in that direction, as they would remind me of the once-delicious mouth-watering goodies.Yes, I know chocolates are bad for health.The palate refuses to listen sometimes!!!!Btw.. on a different note,HAPPY VALENTINES DAY FOLKS!!!

Today :

Ate too much. Teeth pains.Gotta use the mouthwash. Watch "Sex and the City". And go sightseeing in Atlanta tommorow.Hate the red and pink riot in the stores. Too much hype.
Btw, HAPPY VALENTINES!

There was a time when I used to write. And by write, I mean blog - atleast two decent posts per month. Now this blog seems so, deserted.Firewall policies aren't exactly helping.But then , when it came to writing an article as the BWC's(BITSAA Women's council) featured member of the month, all those past posts helped. Well ! All those dreary nights spent holed up inside the lab trying to finish up presentations for Queuing theory weren't exactly futile!! Atleast it helped me ramble on and on in the blog and made its way into a newsletter!