Do you think it is a terrible thing to accept the fact that you are alone? Well, not always. Although I am a very gregarious soul, I love being alone,cloistered in the safety of my well heated room,comforted and connected to the outside world by a virtual screen, seated on my lap.
It is in this general setting that one day, I had this epiphany at work.Well,to be more specific, when I was just packing up from work one day. There is this person, in my office, female,40 never been married,who lives by herself. I just casually mentioned to her how I really admire her, and cant wait to stay by myself when I earn enough. What followed was a series of discussions, that got me thinking.Have you thought about living alone ? Answers in my workplace ranged from"No, that thought has never crossed my mind" to "Well, mm.. I dont know.." to "Hmm.. I wish I had the opportunity".
There are some people to whom this very thought of living by oneself is outrageous. I am not one of them. I am not against the concept of marriage at all.But,to me marriage, is what not one accepts blindly as a societial chore. To me, its is purely a decision that one has to make based on when he/she has what it takes to fulfill a relationship as deep and intense as marriage.My point is, if you are not mentally, emotionally at a point where u can get into such a thing, there is no point doing it, because its a question of two peoples lives here.
Which brought home the fact, that maybe I am not made for a thing like marriage at all.(Ed..Sang you went down a hundred places on your "single and looking" index :)) ). And, coincidentally,I have always been fascinated by the thought of adopting a girl kid.My colleague began relating a story of how some seven to eight American families in her neighborhood have adopted Chinese girl kids.She went on to relate how those families strive to develop in their families a greater understanding of the kids native culture. So, two weeks ago,(Hmm.. finally the story begins!!!) I began thinking about adoption, in all seriousness.
How, who, and when? Will this fall under the International adoptions category? Are there agencies in India which let single moms adopt? What are Indian adoption laws like?When is the right time to start the proceedings? How am I going to raise that kid?Would my family understand?Would they be supportive?Are marriage and adoption mutually exclusive?Do I have what it takes to be a good mother?Hours of research on the net(yup, there is your desigrad talking!!), egroups,chat rooms, and talking to people,and soul searching and marathon home calls ensued.
There are about 600 Indian kids being adopted in the US per year.More number of chinese kids are adopted. I have read numerous stories of American parents,decorating houses with Indian arts, reading out Ramayan to their kids,take them to classical concerts, to honor their Indian heritage.People living worlds away feel strongly about infanticide, and raise children of different races in their households, and enrich their lives.On the other hand, there is us,who have seen suffering, and lack of opportunity in graphic detail.Why arent we doing much about it ? Has seeing too much of all this numbed our senses ??
On a seemingly unrelated note,I was on a vacation when the Tsunami disaster happened.My inbox was flooded with mails from concerned colleagues equiring if my family back home was ok, and asking if they could in anyway contribute to help. In the Tsunami fund raiser yesterday, one of my friends related the story of how they were travelling by the Metro bus,to get to the fundraiser.Casually chatting up, the bus driver equired where they were going, and why.As my friends were getting down, the driver handed them a five dollar note, asking them to contribute to the fundraiser on his behalf.
I am not drawing any conclusions here.I dont consider myself too patriotic.This is not a bunch of sentimental crap inspired by swades.(Incidentally, I havent seen the movie yet!!) I dont yet know fully how I would go about this process,I dont yet know how many people will understand my desire to adopt,I dont yet know how my career and adoption would fit in,but all I know is that if I can change the life of a small, innocent,kid,dumped by the world for no fault of hers, I know I will.
