Orkut Tackiness 101

Three years here and I have gone from being an Orkut addict to an infrequent, reluctant Orkut user. I guess it can be compared to the time you were addicted to F.R.I.E.N.D.S and you thought it was the coolest show in the whole wide world ?(Well, it still is, I own a collector's edition and can recite most of the stuff by rote, but that's not the point!) You then move on to other stuff - O.C, That 70s show, Two and a half men, even revisiting the M.A.S.H addiction.

Similarly I have outgrown Orkut and turned to Facebook over the last year or so. I still have an Orkut account, because, let’s face it, it is still the most popular social networking site in India. And I have discovered that little guy who was in kindergarten when I was the 10th grade school monitor, and such cute stuff.

Now - Top 10 things that make your tackiness monitor skyrocket on Orkut :

1.Really long nonsensical profile names , with sms-ised "speelin lik dis and dat ma bes frnd is gng awy 2day " if you get my drift.

2. Heroes/Heroines as profile pictures - combine it with "shez ma angel luks kewl na" and you have yourself a winner!

3. 136 photos on the album, that would invite an unwitting onlooker to take a look - Only to deal with Surya, Jyothika, Asin(emblazoned with indiaglitz, of course) or a combination of the above three. For the tired eye seeking variety, there is that occasional combat stance of Russell Crowe in Gladiator.

4. A humongous "about me" section - No, I am not talking about verses, poetry, lines from songs and so on. I am talking about pages and pages of misspelled verbal diarrhoea and no punctuation - or grammar for that matter. Followed by arbit URLs and references to testimonials "2 no mor abt me."

5. Passions - a long list of actors and actresses, followed by "franz,chatting,surfin,and ma bike" in that order.

6.256 communities, including “member of too many communities", spamming all these different communities , posting incessantly on "would you date the person above you" or "what song would you dedicate to the person above you" threads.

7. The "ideal match" section - filling it up with "dats a secret" or "will tell when time comes :))" or the tackiest of them all -"keep guessin!!!”

8. Testimonials - huge testimonials with a heart drawn out of zeroes, numerous lines all around saying "love is you" or something to that effect.

9. Couples - putting up same snaps on profile pictures, and having the same profile information, followed by a cheesy "I own this account also."

10. Of course, the hilarious friend requests - the poetry, the lyrics, and the whole nine yards. You didn't think I was going to miss that, did you!!!If you want more, Goltese Falcon has a rip roaring take on "Orkut fraandships".

Over and Out.
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