So what IS in a name ?
What is the deal with women rushing to change their facebook display names an hour after they get married ? What is the big deal about taking on your husband's name ?
I get the romantic bit, believe me. I also get the fact that the entire family will have the same surname, makes it easy for hotel reservations etc etc. But in this day and age, isn' t that actually more sexist than anything else?
I have a really , really long last name and first and middle names, actually. It is a pain every time I call up customer service, or have to spell my name to get into the bloody all-hands call. But beyond all of that, my name is me - it is my identity, it has been ever since I was born. I have grown to love how unique my name is. Not to mention the gazillion places I have to change my name, how about all my degree certificates, fiction publications, papers, journals and print media ? How am I just supposed to abandon my identity and take on a new one ?
This particular phenomenon is global - has nothing to do with how the Indian society is set up. On that subject, there is another very sexist practice in the Tam-brahm community. After marriage, the girl is supposed to call the guy's parents "Amma, appa" (mom, dad) while the male calls the girl's parents maama, maami (uncle, aunty). Again, why on earth is it acceptable for a girl to call someone else "mom" two seconds after a stranger (in those days) ties a knot around a girl's neck ?
I personally value the relationship I have with my in-laws much more than what label I use to call them (which is nothing, currently). We've all seen the proverbial saas-bahu fights, in teleserials and in real-life. Isn't it phony to call someone your mom only to bitch behind their backs? What is more important ? The label, or the actual depth of the relationship ? Afterall, what IS in a name ?
I get the romantic bit, believe me. I also get the fact that the entire family will have the same surname, makes it easy for hotel reservations etc etc. But in this day and age, isn' t that actually more sexist than anything else?
I have a really , really long last name and first and middle names, actually. It is a pain every time I call up customer service, or have to spell my name to get into the bloody all-hands call. But beyond all of that, my name is me - it is my identity, it has been ever since I was born. I have grown to love how unique my name is. Not to mention the gazillion places I have to change my name, how about all my degree certificates, fiction publications, papers, journals and print media ? How am I just supposed to abandon my identity and take on a new one ?
This particular phenomenon is global - has nothing to do with how the Indian society is set up. On that subject, there is another very sexist practice in the Tam-brahm community. After marriage, the girl is supposed to call the guy's parents "Amma, appa" (mom, dad) while the male calls the girl's parents maama, maami (uncle, aunty). Again, why on earth is it acceptable for a girl to call someone else "mom" two seconds after a stranger (in those days) ties a knot around a girl's neck ?
I personally value the relationship I have with my in-laws much more than what label I use to call them (which is nothing, currently). We've all seen the proverbial saas-bahu fights, in teleserials and in real-life. Isn't it phony to call someone your mom only to bitch behind their backs? What is more important ? The label, or the actual depth of the relationship ? Afterall, what IS in a name ?
Touche on the 'Amma and appa' calling custom (kashtam).